• Can fall asleep in under thirty seconds, even during conversations he technically started.
• Once slept through an entire neighborhood parade and later said it sounded “a little busy.”
• Owns twelve favorite pillows and insists they all serve different purposes.
• Believes weekends should last five days and Mondays should require approval.
• Snores loudly enough for Chip to use it as background music.
• Has never met a blanket he did not immediately trust.
• Refers to naps as “productivity breaks.”
• Can recognize the phrase “quick meeting” from three rooms away and disappear before it starts.
• Usually knows exactly what happened while everyone assumes he slept through it.
• Will get up immediately when something truly matters.

Eventually.